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Founded 1889 Vol. CXXXVIII · No. 218
The Republic Ledger

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Breaking Senate passes $1.2 trillion package after removing all infrastructure spending 9:41 a.m.

Europe

Small Nation Quietly Becomes Global Superpower After Accidentally Buying Winning Lottery Ticket

Officials say the 4.2 billion euro windfall will be invested in “infrastructure, diplomacy and a very large flag.”

LUXEMBOURG-ADJACENT — The principality of Valdoria, population 41,000, became one of the world’s largest economies on Friday after its finance ministry accidentally purchased a winning EuroMillions ticket while attempting to buy a stamp.

The jackpot, 4.2 billion euros, is roughly 14 times the country’s annual gross domestic product and more than enough to fund its entire government for a decade.

“We would like to thank the cashier, who suggested the ticket,” said Prime Minister Elise Vann in a televised address. “We would also like to apologize to the cashier, whom we initially asked to leave.”

Valdoria announced it would use the money to build a high-speed rail link, endow a university, purchase a seat on the United Nations Security Council (“if available”) and commission a flag “of appropriate scale.”

Neighboring countries have requested meetings. The European Central Bank has requested a meeting. The lottery operator has requested the ticket.

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Daniel Okafor

Washington Correspondent

Daniel Okafor reports on the federal government and the people who have to live with it. He previously covered statehouses across the Midwest.

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